STEVES‘ ADVENTURES IN THE PAST : (Fantastic Franny Phillips)

As I rose from my present to face my future, which was a return to the past, I suddenly was struck by the realisation that I had no clue as to what that last sentence meant. I was also struck by another realisation, I tell you, these realisations are like buses. That with the extra cash burning a hole in my pocket, from finally disposing  of Tryin’ Ryan Giggs, I could replace Jacob Laursen with the Paragon of Virtue that was/is Ashley Cole. A no brainer as he had a double gameweek, as well as  a conscience as clear as a Neil Ruddock header (Expecting a plate/buffet joke weren’t you) and with Giggs gone, we desperately needed a wholesome left footer in the squad. 

This however left me in a moral conundrum, as I had already bestowed upon you my team and doing such a thing would betray the trust you had only recently placed in me. Upon discovering this, beautiful, kind hearted Ashley, said it is only wrong and immoral if anyone found out and then started muttering about some Portuguese fellow, he was expecting to meet in a few years or something. Not sure much will come of that, I’m sure.

The Week That Was

This particular Thursday, began much like every other, awakening from a nap (Time-Travelling is tiring, it’s definitely not age, honest!!)  to quickly look at the teams on Ask Jeeves, using my state-of-the-art Motorola flip phone. Due to this speedy process, I was only 10 minutes late to access the dial up call on the Interweb, to begin the most exciting evening and Friday morning of the week. A week that relied on the exciting combination of beauty, youth and intelligence, and that was just Thomas, David and Craig in the chat.

In all seriousness this was one of my better visits to this particular century, with cool December air filling my players lungs with vigour and incredible self-belief, providing me with a bounty of goals and assists, including a Foxy Captain Franny Jeffers double vs Bolton and, of course the one-man unit of Destruction that was Kevin Phillips. As you can see below, there is no way I could complain about last week, as I ended up with 95 points and a GW Rank of 110, pushing me into the top 150 for just the second time this season, leaving me with an overall rank of 148 for the second time. As you can imagine, there was cheesecake and lager all over my work desk by 12.30 on Friday afternoon.

What Does The Past Hold for Us All

Well, well, well! Said a man who was out counting wells! And the only thing better than that old joke, is putting the Big Hat on Super Kev to repeat his heroics. I know it might seem crazy expecting him go big twice, but he has the skills and the minerals for it, plus he is mates with Niall Quinn and that has to count for something! Right?!  

Ahead of my cup tie with the fine Gentleman ranked 3rd in the World, Adam English. (Thanks for that Panda, yeah yeah it was a random draw, right? Well, no Bamboo for you Mr!!!) I have drafted in, the Famous Scandinavian Niclas Alexandersson to cut the oranges and put out the cones. Thus, allowing Matt Jansen to continue his and RDB’s pursuit to keep Graeme Souness off our teles, by keeping him in management. A noble pursuit, possibly funded by a young Paul Pogba, but definitely supported by us all back here in 2021.

Biffs Sports Almanac 

Last week’s 3 predictions were so bad that even poor Ashley blushed when he read them. However, unabashed I shall go again and predict the following,

This week I have foreseen the following,

  • Millwall to troll us all a win vs Arsenal
  • Paulo Wanchope to be as destructive as he was to that security guard, weighing in with 2 goals and an assist.
  • Thomas to Outscore Dronuk, to win the Man On Shield 

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it, feel free to leave a comment or even any predictions

And remember this our fantasy World, let’s make it a happy one. Love you all.

2 Comments on “STEVES‘ ADVENTURES IN THE PAST : (Fantastic Franny Phillips)

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